People just assume that after it’s over, after the bully and the bullied have parted ways, all the drama and the heartache are over.  Life becomes normal and the memories of being judged and taunted start to fade. But inside, you feel a huge hole in your heart that can never be filled with love again.  And when you tell people that you’ve been bullied, they give you pity and tell you that you have friends now. As if that could fill the void. As if pity is a substitute for love. What I need is for people to understand.  I want them to understand how being bullied has affected me.

Every week in elementary school, I had to find new people to talk to and the next week they wouldn’t even look at me.  This person managed to turn every single person that I hung out with against me just because of my skin color. For the rest of elementary school, I sat alone on the swings and watched people who I thought I could trust run past me as if I was invisible. For five years, this continued.  And for five years, I had no friends, and no one to trust or to talk to. It was a living nightmare.

Until eventually, I did find people that I could trust.  I found my best friend the day that the torment finally decreased. But because I’ve been bullied, that void in my heart is still there, no matter how many good people I surround myself with, and no matter how many people tried to talk me out of my mindset. And although there are moments when I feel unhappy, I have friends and family that I know I can trust. And after the bullying ended, I opened up. I told people what happened and at first, yes, they gave me pity and that only made me feel worse, but I told them that that’s not what I wanted.  Take it from a person who has been bullied for most of her life, talking about it helps. Even if you feel like no one understands, just tell one person. It could be a complete stranger or a trusted friend. So when someone tells you that they’ve been bullied, don’t give them meaningless pity. Just try, really try, to understand what they have been through and how it has changed them. And I can promise that it does get better.