Christmas time for a high school student isn’t always the most wonderful time of the year. It can be the most stressful, tiring, and problematic time. Instead of wishing for new clothes, shoes or the newest Iphone, all I had on my mind was getting into college. For the past four years, my life has revolved around my grades, clubs, and outside school activities. This was it. This was the year that decided the next four. Personally, I already knew where I wanted to go and who I wanted to become, but for the first time, I didn’t know if that’s what would happen.

Ever since I can remember I’ve always wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I knew I could do something more to help people that I knew deserved more. I knew I had to become a nurse. In about eighth grade I was first introduced to heartbreak; learning about children who are terminally ill or who are extremely sick with cancer or other forms of diseases. I couldn’t imagine how such an innocent soul could be taken from this earth so soon. Feeling frustrated, angry, and sad I knew that my life was now dedicated to making sure I can help those children’s lives become a little bit better each day. So for the next four years I dedicated my life to becoming a nurse. I started visiting colleges in 10th grade. I volunteered, I went to open houses at CHOP, I emailed professors from multiple universities, I went to stimulation labs at certain colleges. It seemed that almost every weekend my life revolved around my future.

Life took a turn for the worse during my summer going into senior year. I took the SAT three times and got a worse score each time. Every college we went to visit went on and on about how their nursing school and curriculum was the best and how difficult it was to be accepted into. I remember sleepless nights of hysterical crying worrying about my future and what it held. My mom would say “God has a plan. He knows what’s best for you”. It took me months to build up the courage to believe that was true. The dreaded time came where the application process began. I had to record my SAT score and my high school GPA and it made me sick everytime I had to. Pressing “send” almost made me pass out a couple times. After all the hours and dedication I have put into wanting to become a nurse, for the first time it became a reality that it might not happen.

Months and months of waiting while seasons change and holidays start, all my mind was focused on was getting into college. Thanksgiving was the worst of all. Every aunt, uncle, grandparent and cousin all coming up and asking “so where are you going to college?” “What are you doing next year?” and all I could say was “I don’t know yet”. Believing in my mom and the advice she told me, I didn’t give up hope. The day came where I finally got that email. It seemed like it took years for it to load, but when the word “CONGRATULATIONS” came across my screen in big capital letters I broke down and cried. Years of stress and worry all came pouring out of me. I would become a nurse. I would be able to pursue the dreams that have kept me awake at night. I would change someone’s life. I would make a difference. It all became a reality at once.  

To all stressed out seniors biting their nails every time they refresh their email, take it from me to not give up hope. Someone who judged herself for months based on her grades and SAT scores. Someone who thought she would never be good enough for any college she applied to. It took me months to believe that I could do this. You can become the person you’ve dreamt of since you were 8 years old. You can get into that school that you have 5 sweatshirts of. It’s possible. Don’t let the next four years of your life take away the last one you have at home with your family, especially during the most wonderful time of the year.