Knowing somebody who has a different life experience from you can be eye-opening in many ways. There’s no way to tell how someone else’s life can vary from your own, based on their unique struggles, when you’re unfamiliar with the concept of these difficulties and how they have impact. It’s usually no fault of your own, it’s undoubtedly hard to comprehend what you haven’t seen for yourself, especially when information hasn’t been provided to you and you therefore don’t seek first-person sources yourself. I think gender identity and the idea of being transgender is very misconstrued for this very reason. I don’t doubt that most everyone, including myself, is confused at their initial introduction to a person who identifies with a gender not aligning with their sex assigned at birth, and this confusion usually starts at the definitions of those two terms. If someone can’t discern between words like gender, sex, and sexual orientation, then they can’t really begin to understand the idea of gender identity and how some grapple with it. 

Despite wide misconceptions concerning the concept, those who struggle with their identity in this way exist regularly in society, they aren’t some rare specimen. Just like it’s commonplace to question one’s attraction to different genders, questioning your identity and how you wish to express your gender is normal, but for some finding comfort with oneself is more complicated than learning to disregard social norms for femininity and masculinity. Many believe that they know few, if any, transgender individuals, which unfortunately diminishes the importance of their issues to some. Given that it’s so misunderstood, a lot of transgender people fight their identity for a long time, and different cultural standards will affect how comfortable someone feels transitioning in front of their community. Still, even if you aren’t familiar with them personally, there are many transgender students within our own school. Whether you’ve recognized someone going by a different name than they did in middle school, or haven’t realized some students are trans off assuming that their sex assigned at birth matches their gender, there are multiple students within every grade level who have transitioned or consider themselves in the process of doing so. 

A student who I’ve known since going to preschool together is Trevor Zoellin, a senior at Pennridge and one of the school’s openly transgender students. When trying to think of someone I know with a unique experience in life, my mind went to him, already knowing some of the things he deals with on a daily basis. Something I was especially curious about was what school has been like for him since transitioning. Accomodation for trans students is something important to me, but I’d never bothered to ask him how his life at school has changed, or what policies Pennridge has in place for students like him. I think before I get to that, though, it’s more important that his general experience of being trans is reflected, because before I can discuss what a transgender student’s needs are there needs to be an understanding for why they have these needs. 

Trevor has been known in school by his preferred name and pronouns since coming out in his freshman year, but it was in 8th grade when he actually came to terms with his gender identity. There’s a common gap between realization and openness with one’s identity, and when I asked him his rationale behind this I unfortunately got an answer I expected. Fear. He described it as not wanting to be transgender, and who would be? When you look at all that trans people have to go through to feel comfortable in their own skin, in combination with the kind of backlash they can receive from family and peers, anyone should be able to understand that the transition process is not much of an easy decision for them, let alone a choice at all. Gender dysphoria is one vital term to comprehend when you’re furthering your knowledge on this topic, as it defines the conflict between someone’s physical appearance and the gender they feel they identify with.This isn’t the same as body dysmorphia, which involves a distortion of how one looks, though you could suffer from both at the same time. Many trans individuals deal with gender dysphoria, but to varying degrees. So, you can’t generalize for all, but this condition does give reasoning behind why some transition even while under harsh opposition, not because they’re on an undercover mission to get into the opposite gender’s bathroom for perverted behavior, but because it’s a necessity to be authentically themselves on a psychological level. More simply, you can look at the actions trans people take to affirm their identity, through changing appearance, as treatment methods to relieving their gender dysphoria. For Trevor as a trans-male (who is not on hormones and has not undergone any surgery), these actions have included being constantly binded (wrapping material around the breasts, tightly enough to flatten them), intentionally deepening his voice around new people, and learning to dress as he wants to, rather than in baggy clothing in shame of his body. Binding, being that it’s the most necessary way for him to feel comfortable, has made itself a permanent fixture in his routine, but this practice done consistently has its consequences. These include damage to underlying tissue and muscle, which he suffers from. As he describes it, “My skin is falling off my body, but if I look at my chest I’ll get nauseous, I have to do it.” Many trans men seeking the appearance of a flat chest are willing to deal with the negatives opposed to seeing themselves otherwise, since the lasting change they need can only be acquired through saving for an expensive surgery, but chest binding can also inhibit movement and restrict breathing. As I mentioned before, however, struggles with appearance such as these aren’t unaccompanied, and what can really make a difference in experience is how someone’s loved ones and general community react to one’s coming out as transgender. After 4 years of being open about his identity, Trevor’s parents still don’t fully accept him and he is not affirmed at home.

When I asked how school has changed for him, he said that in many ways it’s similar. The before and after of coming out both prove scary enough, since while closeted no one knows how you wish to be refered to, and while being openly yourself you’re also open to rejection. In freshman year, he decided on going to each of his teachers on the first day of school, to inform them on his preferred name and pronouns, but in sophomore year he went to the guidance office in order to have his name changed in the system. This didn’t ensure that he’d be accepted by all however, following his name being replaced he still had multiple staff members who refused and continued using pronouns associated with his sex assigned at birth until he involved Mr. Hegen. Although, overall,  he doesn’t think many staff comprehend his experience, Trevor finds trust in a few teachers he’s had. They seem scarce among staff, but there are some who he thinks understand gender identity adequately. Even so, the fact that he had to deal with any teacher’s ignoring of what was written into their attendance lists brings the issue of information to light. It’s important that teachers are informed about basic terms involving the spectrum of gender, otherwise ignorance inhibits their ability to understand all their students and which issues will have an effect on their learning. In an interview with one of our guidance counselors, Mr. Henrysen, I asked about the sort of training staff were provided surrounding this. I learned that  inservice days, in which only staff are at school, are designed to further their own education. He spoke to a push for diversity and a goal for all students feeling comfortable in school, but perhaps there needs to be more focus on transgender students and their struggles as an individual group. I cannot say for sure if this attention is present or lacking, but we should hope to achieve an environment where every teacher is willing to make each student feel safe without intervention. 

As far as students go, Trevor has little issue with others not minding their business. If he’s to generalize, the female students come off less apprehensive than males in his experience, and there is only one student who comes to mind that will always misgender him. Nevertheless, he feels that he will not be received well by everyone in all-male spaces like the restrooms and locker rooms. I was surprised to hear from Henrysen that we’d been allowing transgender students access to the correct facilities and sports teams for a few years now, as I hadn’t known any of these students to take such opportunity. Trevor was under the impression that we had less accommodations as well, but he never asked for them because he imagines using the men’s rooms as a danger for himself, he never knows who could make an upset about his presence. Instead he opts for the neutral bathroom, unless he knows he isn’t likely to run into someone in one of the regular bathrooms. Our only option for neutrality is at the athletic entrance/back of the school, though, and it’s resulted in him missing large amounts of class time, showing up late, or holding his bladder until he’s home. In addition, he has to ask his teacher to use them because of the duration it requires, and it’s not always easy for him to be discreet about it before classmates. While he took gym classes, Trevor used the women’s locker room which he says made him want to cry, as it was frowned upon to take up stall space by changing in them. Even with accepting peers, being in a space that is labeled and restricted by a gender you don’t identify with can be extremely painful. Swim was not plausible to him, on the other hand, and he was luckily able to avoid it. When I spoke with Henrysen, I questioned how easy it was for students dealing with gender dysphoria to gain exemption from swim classes, and he said they are willing to help any student who requests this saying, “If there are situations brought to us we work with each student on an individual basis.” Outside of the basic and necessary accommodations that Pennridge thankfully provides, there needs to be action towards possibility of utilization nonetheless. While more neutral bathroom options would be great, there’s a root to the reason why trans students like Trevor aren’t seen in normal restrooms that are already accessible. It’s their fear that, while just trying to pee or wash their hands, someone who deems them inappropriate will confront them. The only way to make them feel safe is by changing the thought process of those who feel a need to intervene on a trans student’s trip to the bathroom. Through spreading a positive message about transgender people K-12, Pennridge could try to eliminate the misconceptions that make people worry about the genitals instead of the actual gender of the person in the stall next to them, or in the locker room with them. Instead of treating misguided and often transphobic thoughts like this as opinion that can be uninfluenced, Pennridge could implement learning surrounding misunderstood concepts and the importance of affirming others’ identified gender. Creating a supportive environment benefits all students, and empowers everyone to be less concerned about harmless differences among each other. 

Something I mentioned earlier was the lack of support Trevor receives from his parents. This is sadly something that many trans people stand to face given the general lack of knowledge surrounding gender identity, and this rejection from family is usually one of the prime reasons transgender youth have such a large probability for mental health struggles. A Temple Political & Civil Rights Law Review was written by Caitlin Ryan entitled “Generating a Revolution in Prevention, Wellness, and Care for LGBT Children and Youth,” wherein she states that “high levels of parental pressure to try and change an adolescent’s gender expression to enforce gender conformity is related to high levels of depression, a nearly four times greater liklihood of attempted suicide and illegal drug use, and being more than twice as likely to put oneself at high risk for HIV.” Given that a child’s home life has so much impact on their well-being, a school should be prepared to aid students with non-affirming parents when they seek help, and Mr. Henrysen informed me that Pennridge is willing to have such conversations with family. Whether they’ve had the opportunity or not, within these discussions should be the topic of why it’s so important to affirm their child’s gender, as to prevent the harmful effects the opposite will bring about. Trevor has agreed that the school speaking with his mom would bring more ease than his lone efforts, and it makes sense, having someone outside of the situation to explain and answer a parent’s questions takes a lot of stress off the student involved. This kind of collaboration, or at least attempt, will only make for a better situation in which the student can learn, whereas they could have a diminished focus on school otherwise. 

I wanted to know from Trevor what he wishes to see change at school to improve his experience, and a large focal point of this involves an additional counselor. I learned from Henrysen that all our counseling staff have a master’s degree at minimum, and that a part of their study includes knowing how to support students coming from all backgrounds and experiencing different issues. However, having met with our guidance staff before, Trevor feels we’d benefit from having someone with a specialty in aid for LGBTQ students, given that their grappling with mental health can differ in manner and reason from others. He also thinks that more teachers should be told the appropriate way to act towards transgender students. If their discomfort is to be prevented, staff should really be informed as soon as possible on correct names and pronouns, and also on how not to pose improper questions or comments. This affirmation should also be a requirement for them to carry out, as well for all students who know a student’s identification. That doesn’t mean suspension for a mistake, but if a staff member or student is aware of what pronouns and name someone uses, and is deliberately harassing them by ignoring this, the school should take it seriously if the issue is brought to them. My hope is that with more attention transgender issues can be revlieved even slightly, as long as more people are willing to hear others out and not judge based on each others benign personal choices. Being cisgender, it’s hard to imagine what a trans individual goes through without searching for that information, and it’s not always easy to realize you need to do so when their struggles aren’t visible. If more schools were to start the conversation about gender identity, a larger amount of people would have the knowledge to better understand trans peers in any environment.